You disgust me.
Sitting there with your perfectly moist turkey, covered in thick, delectable gravy, your heaps of creamy white potatoes drowning in fresh-drawn butter. The crisp green beans, steaming out of a roiling tub of ham hock juice. The fluffy, buttery bread, the carrots soaking in all manner of brown sugar. The can of cranberry sauce.
Are those lima beans with salt and pepper? Brussel’s sprouts? There’s squash to be had?
Don’t try to cover that slice of ham with your napkin. I see it.
All that, and you’re going to help yourself to a piece of pie the size of your head, aren’t you?
All washed down with a glass of that twenty-two dollar a bottle Pinot Noir.
And just what did you have for a snack when the game came on before dinner? It was that cold leftover pizza with extra cheese from the night before, wasn’t it?
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Instead of a scrumptuous Thanksgiving meal, you should treat yourself to Free Political Talking Points for Political Hacks Who Love Food, Glorious Food.
– The Fruit of the Month is plantains. Let’s incorporate this healthy choice in to our Thanksgiving dinner!
– Cook that turkey at 165 degrees — minimum!
– Be thankful you only have to feed yourself today. By 2050, you have to feed nearly 10 billion… did you make enough for everyone? (And if you think this doesn’t effect the climate, you’re crazy.)
– Wash your hands, cook stuff the right way, don’t cross-contaminate food, and keep stuff chilled properly: there are more than 76 million cases of foodborne illnesses annually!
– You’ve remembered to eat healthy, cook the turkey at the right tempurature, you’ve set the table for 10 billion people, you’ve scrubbed everything from top to bottom, and now you’re ready to eat: yeah, there’s an app for that.
– You’re probably going to eat too much. But remember…
– …there are 49 million hungry Americans. Let us take a moment to truly be thankful for all we have.
Cross posted at the Spencerian.
Happy Thanksgiving, friends and neighbors.
This are really great info that makes me think.