Highway 19

A bleeding artery running through Florida's worst coast
It's as real and serious as a Pam Anderson roast
But it represents America, a microcosm of the South
Less likely to meet a PhD than a redneck who says you have a pretty mouth

65 fucking miles per hour
Guys in mesh baseball caps hitting you with the glower
Meaner than the dam mujahedeen
That's fucking highway 19

Hundreds of stores and shops and restaurants
So many funny ways to take your money, honey
So many ways to sell you trash and crap it's a tourist trap
But people gotta live there, too, in the middle of an empty map
So little of value for hundreds of miles and signs
Billboards block the clouds and stars and skies
Come with me down Highway 19 on a little trip
You might want to skip it, but people live it, you should know about it

Highway 19, let's go...

8 Walgreens, 7 CVS, 4 generic drug stores
Prescription drug abuse, getting euphoric is easy
Six strip clubs and two porn shops keep it sleazy
On highway 19 finding harder drugs and prostitutes is breezy
If you're looking for food to make you queasy and uneasy
They got that with 6 McDonald's, 6 Burger Kings
8 Subways, 5 KFCs, 3 donut shops, and 33 other chains
Wash it down, drown the taste with 36 bars and 15 stores to buy drinks

A bleeding artery running through Florida's worst coast
It's as real and serious as a Pam Anderson roast
But it represents America, a microcosm of the South
Less likely to meet a PhD than a redneck who says you have a pretty mouth

65 fucking miles per hour
Guys in mesh baseball caps hitting you with the glower
Meaner than the dam mujahedeen
That's fucking highway 19

Speaking of buying shit, which is what we were doing
They have 5 Walmarts, 8 pawn shops, used or new
You can purchase cheap, plastic crap, and sell it, too
12 gold buyers, 17 dollar stores, 55 car lots, it's true
Short on cash, not enough cheese to buy that whip?
12 payday advance, 9 fake casinos, and a psychic
Made a few mistakes? They got 3 bail bondsmen
18 churches where you can lie about or confess your sins

Don't like yourself? 3 plastic surgeons, 2 tanning salons
Don't like others? 4 places to buy guns and other weapons
Don't like science? Scientologists to the South, 3 chiropractors nearby
Don't like your money? They got a warehouse for the bridal industrial complex
And so many other ways to throw your cash away, say goodbye
Professor Rex perplexed by these Highway 19 royal subjects with no self-respect
It's not all bad, though, they do have 3 bookstores
1 museum, 1 dinner theater and 1 college for the poor
So, there's that...

A bleeding artery running through Florida's worst coast
It's as real and serious as a Pam Anderson roast
But it represents America, a microcosm of the South
Less likely to meet a PhD than a redneck who says you have a pretty mouth

65 fucking miles per hour
Guys in mesh baseball caps hitting you with the glower
Meaner than the dam mujahedeen
That's fucking highway 19